We have Travel Approval!! We got our Final Approval on February 10th! The following week we bought tickets to Taiwan, and we leave in March! (For exact dates and updates and pictures while we are gone, please "Friend" Robert or Rebecca on Facebook) We will be meeting our kids and bringing them home a week after we get there.
We are so excited!! Prayers appreciated for all of the transitions and adventure we are going on.
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On Wednesday, Dec. 29, we got a very unexpected, but long-awaited email that the judge ruled in our favorl! (If you don't know what we're talking about, seethis post) Our hearts are heavy for what the birth mom must be feeling, but mostly overjoyed that we still get to adopt our kids. If you are a praying person, would you take a moment to pray for her?
So what now?! Now, we wait 10 more days for the final appeal process, and then we get our Final Ruling...finally! We have been told to expect to travel in early March. We have no idea (yet) why we need to wait 2 more months to travel when we would happily pack and prepare for the next 10 days and then fly to Taiwan on day 11! We should have a zoom call with our adoption agency (Holt International) after the New Year and find out more about next steps. But for now, we are just so stinkin' happy to have the appeal overturned. We truly think they are best off coming to live with us, but did not envy the judge the difficult decision he had to make for their futures. It was not easy. We are so thankful to the literal hundred plus people who have been praying for us over this situation. It was hard to wait without knowing the outcome, and continues to be hard to wait to go get them, but we know it will all be worth it when our kids are in our arms! Robert:
It’s been 7 weeks and 3 days since our two younger kids sat in a court room in Taiwan and told the judge that they want to come to America, be with their parents, and play with their older brothers. A month before that, we were packing our bags to pick them up. People like to ask me how I’m doing, and it’s complex, ever changing, and emotional answer. Today, I started crying during a meeting at work, so I’m definitely overdue for writing out my thoughts. A wise counselor of mine once told me that all strong negative emotions come from missed expectations. He didn’t say it to minimize or oversimplify rage or grief, he said it to help me understand my own wrestlings with them without shifting blame or cause. When you can’t move the reasons for rage or grief beyond, “I expected __ but instead ___, and that’s hard for me” I just have to sit in it. In this case, I had so many expectations that never matched up with reality. I expected to meet my younger kids face to face in early October. I expected joy and travel, precious moments and frustrating situations. I expected late nights cuddling and singing and reading books. Instead of that, we experienced fear and loss and the threat of greater loss. And the fear and loss stretched day by day into 3 months. Thanksgiving was a hard day for me. My older kids picked up a fever from school, so we couldn’t host my whole family. Instead, we had a quiet meal with two empty seats at our table–a reminder that we should have been back for a month already. We were given the gift of continued skype calls once a month for 40 minutes to connect with them, and it’s been wonderful to continue that relationship we’ve been building since January. But the last call was different. My daughter sat in tears for 35 of those minutes, the social worker told us, “She’s very anxious because she doesn’t now when she’s coming to America.” We made the call to send Christmas presents, hoping we’d be there in person before they arrived, and now, we know we won’t be there for Christmas. In a week, I will be thinking of those two empty chairs. I do my best to follow the teachings of Jesus. I know that Yahweh “watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow” (Ps 146:9). He cares about justice and the weak. I’ve written papers about God’s faithfulness to those who live rightly and experienced overwhelming and undeserved blessing. But I also know that sometimes prayers are not answered. The same church that received Paul from prison (Acts 12:5) prayed for James’ release (12:2) and Herod executed him. We live in a world where God’s will is not always done. We live in a world where God is grieved by what is done here (Ge 6:6, Ps 78:40, Jn 11:35). And even though I go through hard emotions on a regular basis, I take refuge in Yahweh’s consistency, faithfulness, and purposes. When we decided to adopt over two years ago, we had to make some early practical decisions. One of those decisions was when to tell our kids about our selection. There was a chance that the agency would select someone else, in which case, we’d be committed and emotionally shattered. We had heard stories warning against such emotional recklessness. We decided that even at the risk of extreme emotional pain, we would commit 100% to these kids, so that when we held them in our arms, we had held nothing back along the way. The cost of that choice became a reality when that relationship was threatened. At church, I have many friends who genuinely want to know if there are any updates because they genuinely care about my family. So every week, I explain the lack of news, the emotional pain, and the fear that I might lose two of my children. At work, I have many colleagues who genuinely care and want to hear good news and progress. Today, someone said “good morning” as we passed in the hallway, and “have a great Christmas” after she had rounded a corner–the genuine well-wishing hit me in the gut like a punch. I don’t know when (or if) I will see my children again. I certainly won’t see them before Christmas. I strangled a sob around the corner before picking up my voice to respond, “you too!” Am I trying to be a downer in every conversation? No. Do I want people to walk on eggshells around me? No. Do people randomly tell me adoption horror stories to try and connect with my situation? Yes. Did I set myself up for emotional pain? Absolutely. Is this painful? Yes. Do I cry at work? Yes. Do I need a vacation? Maybe. Would it help? No. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. The only thing worse then people constantly reminding me of the heartache of being separated from my children and my love for them would be if no one cared at all. Thank you for joining me in this pain, for caring deeply through it, and for giving us hope. It’s what Jesus did, and I’d take it over being numb any day. Whew! I have not updated in a while; I apologize!
As you saw in our last post, we received our First Ruling in July. Then, in August, we got Travel Approval! THIS WAS THE MOMENT WE WERE WATING FOR!!! We bought plane tickets, we had our embassy appointment scheduled, as well as our "placement" or pick-up-kids date on Oct. 12. We were scheduled to fly home on Oct. 16 and start our new life as a family of 6. Then in mid-September our world came to a screeching halt. We found out that the children's birth mom had been notified of our First Ruling also, and she filed an appeal to win back custody of her kids. This was a huge surprise for many reasons. We didn't think she had the legal right to do so (she does) and we just generally thought we were in the clear and nothing would stop our adoption. After all, we had plane tickets! I was packing suitcases! We were devastated. We had to cancel our plane tickets (we did not get a refund, but we have a year to use the credit with United) and cancel our whole trip to Taiwan. On Oct 28, there was a court hearing to decide our Final Ruling, and decide whether or not we get to adopt our kids. Birth Mom was present as well as 2 more family members, expressing their desire to help her parent the children. As far as we can tell, the children were also present (a surprise to us) and asked what they wanted. They expressed that they like Mommy and Daddy and big brothers in the U.S. and want to come live with us. Obviously this is both heart-warming and heart-wrenching to find out that the children went through this, and that the judge has such a difficult decision to make. So now we wait. Again. It has been a long 2 weeks since the court hearing, and every day we wait for the phone to ring to tell us everything is going to be ok and to come to Taiwan right away. But we just don't know what's going to happen. Would you please pray with us? Pray that we get the kids. Pray that the judge has wisdom to make this hard choice. Pray for the birth mom, who's heart is surely breaking. There's a lot more I'm not sharing, that leads us to believe we are the best family to raise these kids. Pray for Robert and I to be sustained during the waiting, because we are low-key depressed. Just pray over all of it. Thank you friends and family. We dearly appreciate everyone's support and love these last several months. WE GOT OUR FIRST RULING!!!!
This is huge!!! One of the final steps before travel! Next comes out Final Ruling in a few weeks and getting our appointment date at the American Institute IN Taiwan (like an embassy) , which will determine our travel dates!!! So we are looking at traveling in September!!!!!!!!! June 9, 2021 - Matched with Sister & Brother September 28, 2021 - Final Approval to be their parents! Feb 18, 2022 -Contracts arrived in USA March 14 - Signed contracts arrived in Taiwan May 25 - Docs & contracts submitted to court June 23 - First court date July 18 - First Ruling!!! Thursday night was our 4th Skype call with Sister & Brother. It was wonderful!! #1 was chaotic but great. (January) #2 was incredible & lots of interacting (February) #3 was more low-key/calm with lots of interaction and we got to witness a sibling squabble (March) Just when you think you know what to expect... We started the call with Brother (4yo) and had lots of fun looking at animals he was showing us from a magnet book and practicing English words. Lots of smiles and clapping! Then Sister (5yo) came on and they said she learned a dance for me for Mother's Day!! You guys I started tearing up quickly as she did her sweet little motions and "dance." THEN the translator started to translate what the song meant. It's about a paper airplane flying to see Mama, wanting to hug and never separate, sending love far away, -- cue the tears. I cried, Robert cried, the translator said everybody on their end was crying!! (Of course, the translation below is an exact translation which strips the rhyme scheme and emotion from the words!) 妈妈我爱你 (Mama Wo Ai Ni) Sister watched a Kids Youtube Video to learn the dance. We aren't sure if her foster mother initiated this plan or she learned it at school, since they celebrate Mother's Day in Taiwan too! Here is the real music video by the artist! So sweet! Our papers were approved by TECO (the Taiwan *embassy*) in Seattle and now our big Dossier packet is on the way to Taiwan!! Next step: wait 1-3 months for it to get submitted to court ... then we find out when the first court date is scheduled!
. Please pray for expediency for us!! We would really love the stars (aka, government offices) to align so we could travel this summer and have lots of time to bond before school starts. Ah yes, when will we travel? That is the question we calculate and dream about every day/week! This is mostly a recap, but here's what we know coming up:
As we continue waiting, please pray for expediency! Pray for that God would have his hand on the whole process and the timing of everything. We are anxious to get our kids here so we can start the next chapter of our lives with them, and realistically, would like as much time to bond before school starts in the fall. (Kindergarten for Sister and maybe PreK for Brother) But at the end of the day, God knows what will happen, and people adopt in the middle of the school year all the time and figure it out. ps. This whole post I resisted the urge to say "And chances are, if you give him a glass of milk, he's going to want a cookie." The End. ;) Woohoo!!! We have been waiting since October for our "hard copies" to come from Taiwan! We finished our part of the Dossier packet months ago and sent it to our agency case worker in Seattle. We have been waiting for the OFFICIAL adoption contracts from Taiwan to come, so we can sign them, seal them, deliver them back to Taiwan, and then the family court process can start! After a horrendous stomach flu made its rounds through all 4 of us this week, we were lazing about the house on Friday, recovering on sleep and ab muscles. Then we got an email that our hard copies had not only reached the U.S., but would be arriving at our house on Saturday morning!! I (Becca) quickly got on the phone to set up an appointment with a Notary that would be open on Monday (President's Day) and the Idaho Secretary of State on Tuesday. Excitement! Then, the doorbell rang, and the big packet of documents arrived before lunch (Friday)! Well then by all means, let's get this done TODAY. It has been our goal to never have a step of the adoption process waiting on US. There is a lot of waiting in adoption (like 4.5 months for these contracts), but when it is in our hands, we try to get stuff done quickly! I called the bank to see if the Notary was in this afternoon and available. I slipped in that it was for adoption paperwork, since people are often excited to help when they know it's for an adoption! They said, yes he is and will squeeze us in. Called the Secretary of State to see if we could come today to get our Authentication/Apostilles, instead of Tuesday. Yes! Everybody changed into leaving-the-house pants for the first time all week, ate lunch, I threw on make-up, and we gathered up our paperwork, identification, and tablets to keep the boys occupied in the bank (we decided to go to the Notary at our bank branch, instead of UPS, since it was still a weekday). Nothing like adoption forward movement to get you off the couch of self pity after being sick! We waited quite a while at the bank, patting ourselves on the back for bringing entertainment for the children. ;) Normally we make an appointment and don't have to wait long at all, but there are usually only 2 chairs per banker cubicle, so the boys play on the floor even when there is no wait. We also chatted with another couple waiting to see the Notary that were working on their paperwork for a kinship adoption! It was finally our turn, we laid out the 8 documents we needed to sign and notarize, stamped, stamped, stamped, and back to the car! It took about 20 minutes to get from the bank near our house to the Secretary of State Office downtown, but we were proud of ourselves for being early to our 3:00 unofficial appointment. We arrive, step inside the small waiting area, and step up to the desk at the glass window. A petite nice looking woman turns out to be....rather surly. She tells us our documents are wrong. Can't accept them. Something wrong with almost each one of the 8. Of course my hackles raise, and I start getting defensive that these are the documents that our agency gave us and the country of Taiwan seems to be okay with them! Then I took a deep breath, Robert came to my side as soon as realized it was not going smoothly (he had been with the boys a few feet away) and I started saying nice tension-diffusing things like we are all on the same side, and I just want to understand what she wants us to do, and I am not a Notary so please help me understand what is wrong. Apparently, in order to Authenticate a Notarization she needs to see the State AND County on every document that the Notary stamps and signs. The Taiwanese documents did not have a blank for him to fill in the county on any of them, because - they don't have counties in Taiwan! We stack up our papers, leave, and get back in the car. We still have an hour and a half before her office closes, so we decide to give it our best shot. Also, I ask Robert if I am crazy or was I being rude (which I have a tendency to do) or was she??? He confirms that I was being very nice and she was being very unhelpful. God bless him. Robert makes sure everybody is buckled (again), and I call the bank to see if Brandon (our Notary) is still there, and he is, and everyone wants to be very helpful. We drive 20 minutes back to the same bank branch, Brandon immediately comes to help us, and we ADD county to these official Taiwanese documents that we were very hesitant to alter in any way. Oh and we add a notary cover page to our giant homestudy packet and just sign willy nilly on the front, since there's no place to sign on a homestudy! :P Brandon wishes us luck, we thank him profusely, and get back in the car. Now at this point, we are both tense, and I have realized that I made the grave mistake of bringing snacks for Jack but not water for anybody. So, we check the time, stop at a gas station, and I get chips and water for the kids who have been TROOPERS this whole time. We drive 20 minutes back to the Secretary of State Office to see if the not-so-nice lady will take our papers now. She is still not thrilled that they don't have the right language swearing that we are who he verifiied us to be, but she begrudgingly accepts them. I keep trying to say nice things and be respectful and cheerful, but she reiterates multiple times that if Taiwan doesn't accept them it's not her fault because she thinks they aren't done right. Gosh I hope she's wrong... we will find out soon enough if so. WE DID IT!!! We are so relieved. This is a huge step!!!
We drive (another 20 minutes) back home, and the kids are excited to play outside and be done in the car. We had a few more documents to sign that were almost entirely in Mandarin and did NOT need to be notarized or authenticated. Whew. Our agency provided a pre-paid overnight envelope to send them back to our caseworker in Seattle, so Robert offered to take it to FedEx. The closest location was a nearby Walgreens. Great! 5:26 pm Incoming call from Robert. I almost answered the phone "WHAT" because I seriously doubted he would call just to say he was done and coming home... but I held my tongue. He laughed and said "Today is all about secondary locations!" Walgreens is only a drop-off location for FedEx, and there pick up has already happened for the afternoon. Thank GOODNESS the walgreens lady asked if he wanted it to go out that night. SOoooo Robert headed to a real FedEx place and dropped off the envelope. And that is the story of how after 4.5 months of waiting, we had 5 hours of flurry of activity, and now we will probably be waiting another 6 months to travel to get our kids. :D I'll make another post about what the upcoming steps are, since this one got a bit out of hand with my dramatization!! Ahhhhhh!!! Our first Skype call went GREAT! It was hours ago but I've just been so wired. We didn't *really* think it would go badly per se, we just had so little idea what to really expect. Seeing other people's pictures and reading stories of their Skype calls just doesn't prepare you! It was rather chaotic, 4 of us + Brother and Sister + 3 foster family + 3-4 various social workers + 1 translator!! Brother and Sister were all smiles and excited to show off their English "Mommy Daddy!" and excited to see our big boys! The actual call was better resolution than this, but I didn't take any screenshots bc I knew we would get a recording of the call. WELL it turns out Skype software automatically formats you side by side/equal size squares, instead of the picture-in-picture landscape view we were seeing. Soooo these pictures are always chopping off half of us. In reality we could see both of them and they could see all 4 of us. Next time we will do our own screen capture! Robert did SO great plunging in and using a few mandarin phrases (he has great pronunciation but you know it's always stressful to speak in front of adults!) and the kids (and adults) loved it. After he introduce the big boys, Brother piped up with "big brother! big brother!" in Chinese. Someone had taught the kids how to say "I love you!" in English and Robert and I both just about lost it right there! But I pulled it together because I am an ugly crier and wanted to keep it positive for the kids! There really is nothing like your "heart" language. It just gets you in the gut to hear "I love you." So we responded with "I love you! Wo ai ni!" (woh eye nee) and the kids were very excited. The big boys did GREAT showing some toys, playing peek-a-boo, and being SUPER flexible when they had to wait, or shush so we could hear the translator. We are so proud of them! My heart is full. |
AuthorAll posts are written by Robert or Rebecca. Maybe you can guess who's who based on the number of emojis and exclamation points!!! CategoriesArchives
February 2023
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